Having kids can wreak havoc on any relationship, so when our bloggers learned about New York Times best selling author and relationship counselor Ian Kerner’s new book, Sex Detox, they were definitely interested in learning more.

As one mom wrote “I don’t know about you but just thinking the word “sex” tires me out most of the time so to actually get to physically wanting it again… Dr. Kerner has my attention!”

In Sex Detox, Kerner asks readers to detox their relationships by abstaining from sex.

“The “replacement” for sex is hours spent instead in solitary contemplation, and the art of mindfulness. Kerner provides a daily agenda of questions to ponder and journal about, starting with that one element that keeps popping up in so many self-help books: your childhood. He asks you to delve into your past and remember what triggered your current perceptions of sex, and how those beliefs are still operating in your life today.”

Our bloggers from the first set of reviews appreciated his candor. Bloggers from this round of reviews shared their sentiment. “Even without following through on the whole program, I think we benefitted from the open communication this book advocates. Simply putting oneself out there in word and deed is the underlying premise of most self-help books worth their salt, and this one is no exception. Sometimes talking–to each other, not at each other–is the simple necessity. Sex Detox gives you a framework for that conversation.”

Aside from the 30-day detox plan, bloggers did feel as though the sentiment of getting in touch with your relationship again was important. “All in all, Sex Detox is a good book to get if things are getting stagnant and you’re dying to mix things up. It provides a catalyst for discussions that you might not have had otherwise.”

Similar to a few of our previous bloggers, a couple of our bloggers from this round were a bit skeptical of Dr. Kerner’s approach. “Here’s the deal, life is hard and I’m busy and I’m stressed enough without giving up sex.  I would rather drink a double shot of espresso and have a roll in the hay than be irritable.” 

Another stated the following:

Let’s face it: “sexual problems” are symptoms of relationship problems. If you can’t talk to your partner about your needs, then you need more than this pretty pink book to get your sex life and relationship back on track. If anything, you should “detoxify” yourself. Keep a diary, ask yourself some tough questions, and become better attuned to your own personal needs. Then open your mouth and communicate exactly what you need.

Even I chimed in about the idea of doing deep relationship work with a book. “To be frank, if you’re really in a toxic relationship, then I say grab the book and bring it to a therapist, because chances are, you’re not going to be able to get your spouse to do it with you. In fact, I’m betting that even if your relationship is just in need of minor repair, it’s still going to be a bit hard. For some people, talking openly about sex is incredibly easy and for others, it’s worse than pulling teeth.”

Others were skeptical about doing the program alone, without an agreeing partner. “Kerner says you can participate in the sex detox without  your partner, and even without telling your partner that you are doing it. I have a problem with that, if you are having sex more than once a month. I don’t think you should withhold sex from your partner without letting them know what is going on. I would be hurt if it was done to me, even in the name of bettering our relationship.”

But aside from a few gripes, the bloggers, for the most part, enjoyed Kerner’s book. “This book was exceptional. The premise, although at first seemingly unpossible (you want me to go without WHAT for HOW LONG?), is so very needed and insightful.”

Check out Ian Kerner on Motherhood Uncensored Blog Talk Radio tonight from 9-9:30pm EST!