I’ve been asked before how I feel about the statement, “I support the troops, but not the war.”  And my usual reply has been, “It’s a lot better than the way our troops were treated during the Vietnam War.”

In spite of the widely differing views on the war in Iraq, I find it heartening that most people agree that our military members deserve acknowledgement and praise for their willingness to serve and the sacrifices they make.

At The Soccer Mom Vote, Nancy (who also writes at Mom-Ma’am-Me and is a civil servant herself) wrote about the mother of a Marine serving in Iraq who launched “Operation Bedding” in response to a request her son made (fresh, comfortable linens for his platoon) six days before he was killed.

A recent article in the Washington Post described the anguish of families visiting graves in Arlington Cemetery - graves of those killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.  It’s excruciating to read about the pain of the families they left behind - most notably, their parents.

One mother regularly drives from Westchester County (north of New York City) to Arlington: ”At every visit, she sits on his grave and reads aloud from his favorite baby book, Corduroy. He had just turned 20.”  Another mother, whose son died a year ago in June, spends “all day [at the cemetery], filling vases by his gravestone with mums and daisies.”

The pain extends to those who return from the war - battered, both mentally and physically, but alive.  They visit the graves of their comrades who were not so fortunate and weep openly.  But it’s even more difficult for them to face the grieving parents of those comrades.  Yet another mother recounts a conversation with a young Marine veteran who “told her words she’d heard before from others returning from battle, sentiments she doesn’t share. I let you down, he said. We didn’t bring your son back. I didn’t do my job.”

On this Memorial Day, please remember the troops who have paid the ultimate price - and remember their families as well.  They’ve paid a terrible price themselves.